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Disrespect

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 I am sure everyone is aware of what disrespect means but just to break it down; disrespect is  1) to treat without respect 2) show or express contempt or rudeness 3) low regard for someone or something. 4) to disrespect someone is to act in an insulting way towards them. 5) It is actually the exact opposite of respect by acting rude, impolite or offensive. I am sure all of us have witnessed it somewhere / sometime.Being disrespected is definately not a part of healthy relationships. Let me give you an example of disrespect  in a form of put down. Radha and Ashok have been married for a while and Ashok knows that Radha always wanted to become a doctor but could not for some reasons. While they are out for dinner with the extended family, Ashok says a mean joke suggesting Radha was not smart enough to become a doctor which causes Radha to be embarrassed. (Now simply replace becoming a doctor with anything else). And that's a put down which in turn is huge part of disrespec...
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Caring for our Seniors

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I completely believe in the above sentence. From the time we are born, to everything that we do and become, our parents contribution is invaluable to our very being. I personally cannot remember a single time or incident when I have felt the need for any kind of support from my parents and it went missing.    Now with the parents getting older, the roles are being being reversed. So the question that we as care givers, need to ask ourselves is Why do we need to take care of our parents ?? There are a lot of reasons but a few that I can think of are as follows ;  1) Without them, we would not even be there. Parents love is the purest form of love that there is and taking care of them is giving back all the love and effort, understanding and compassion, they showered us with, while raising us. Caring for them is also our expression of love and affection for them.  2) Social Support - Isolate them and make them more prone and susceptible to negative emotions and b...
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Divorced

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  How many of us agree with the above statement ?  Oh yes !! 100% percent  Without getting into the reasons as to why the number of divorces are increasing and marriages are breaking , let's look at divorce a little differently now ; shall we ?   A divorce is something no one truly wants but is sometimes, the only option available to the person/s due to certain circumstances and conditions. Louis C.K. " Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. That would be sad. If two people were married and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times." Divorces happen because of a lot of reasons, lack of love and affection, lack of understanding, inability to see the partners point of view,  too much arguing, incompatibility and lack of equality in a relationship, lack of intimacy or/and communication are just few reasons f...
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Boundaries

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A boundary is a real or imaginary line that seperates two things, walls, countries ... even residences for that matter. A personal boundary are the  rules and limits we set for ourselves in a relationship. It helps to create a clear guideline on how I would like to be treated. They let others know what is and what is not acceptable. It honours my needs so that I feel respected and safe  Since most of my blogs centre around relationship, would like to stick to a broader version of boundaries and that is " Personal Boundaries ". What are these rules and limits that I spoke about earlier if I were to talk about myself ? A few of them are I don't like to talk on phone post 8 pm, I need a certain amount of 'me time' in a day to self reflect, I disconnect the moment I feel disrespected and so on.  Ever thought what do these boundaries do ?  Importance of setting boundaries :  1) Boundaries keep us safe.  2) Boundaries define who we are and who we are not.  3...
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Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

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 Healing from an abusive relationship seems impossible as narcissists leave their victims totally confused and drained emotionally, mentally, physically and sometimes financially also. ( Phew ....!!!)  But even if we are to break down the word Impossible :  We get "I Am POSSIBLE" Let's look at few ways and means of recovery ;  1) Be PATIENT : First of all its important to know that this process of recovery takes times, sometimes months other times years; depending on several factors .. so its important to be patient with yourself. It will be worth all the hardwork, patience, effort and time 2) LET YOURSELF GRIEVE : It's all right to feel the way you are feeling , angry, sorrow, grief, rage, as long as one is able to process the emotions in a healthy way. For example, we can't go around screaming or name calling them just because we are feeling angry. While experiencing pain and suffering, if one is unable to process the emotions, it's best to ask for help fr...
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Signs and Effects of Narcissism

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 In the last blog, we learnt a little about how to identify a narcissist, whether it's me, myself or people around me. A quick recap ..  Narcissistic Abuse is quite difficult to endure but the sooner one gains an understanding of it, the faster the healing from the same. Now for some of the SIGNS and EFFECTS of a Narcissist who could be a sibling, spouse, parent/s or inlaws , boss, colleague or a friend and Narcissistic Abuse are as follows:  : First and foremost people doubt the abuse ever took place . In public it's so subtle, cleverly manipulated and disguised in the form of repeating a so called funny incident or calling you a joker or clumsy as an example. They laugh with everyone in the room to make the insult seem ... "Well intentioned." As a result of the above, you are left upset or confused, embarrassed or even even guilty for looking or sounding  like an unwise or silly person. : Experience Difficulty making decisions : Since you are constantly at the rece...
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Narcissism

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Most of us may already know this term but just to have a little more clarity, narcissism is a totally self-centred personality style, includes a person thinking very highly of himself or herself and believing that others are way inferior.  A person suffering from narcissism is a narcissist who also lacks the ability to think about or care for feelings of others. While narcissists are all about control, control and control, let's understand some very common traits of a narcissist; : Sense of superiority and self importance.  : Lack of responsibility which in turn means  it always has to be someone else's fault for every wrong in their life. : Exaggerated need for attention and validation which ofcourse can only come from others. : A powerful need to control and become vindictive when things or people don't go their way.  :  Fragile Ego ; If and when they recieve a minor ( not to talk about major) criticism from their coworker, family or friends, be ready for that...
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