Functional Vs Dysfunctional Families - Part 1

 Now, this is a difficult topic for blogging by all means. 

When I started researching on it, i found out that almost 70-80% of Americans consider their family dysfunctional. Could not locate any such data of India, but that surely doesn't mean dysfunctional families don't exist here. In fact, it's quite the opposite. 

Characteristics of a functional family include support, love n care for ALL the family members, willingness to listen and learn from all, making each member of the family feel respected, important, valued , loved and safe,  open communication , treating each child as an individual in their own right, having realistic expectations of one another and creating a safe environment that allows members to grow, thrive, express and explore. Mistakes are looked upon as learning experiences and each member is able to openly express their displeasure at anything they are uneasy about while feeling completely accepted at the same time.

Being a Functional Family does not mean one is always happy. It also does not mean you are a Perfect Family either. Infact, there is just no such thing 

Essentially the functional family will include 

  • RESPECT
  • BOUNDARIES
  • OPEN COMMUNICATION
  • TRANSPARENCY
  • TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE
  • LOVE
  • SAFE PLACE TO EXPRESS


If not every , then most of it for sure. 

A Dysfunctional Family will be short on a several if not all, of the above listed attributes. That's why it's called dysfunctional as it functions abnormally or inadequately. 


Essentially a dysfunctional family will include :

  • TENSION
  • MISTRUST
  • RESENTMENT
  • CONSTANT CRITICISM WITHOUT RECOGNITION OF POSITIVES
  • A FAMILY HISTORY OF DYSFUNCTION
  •  VIOLENCE / ABUSE - EMOTIONAL, VERBAL, PSYCOLOGICAL, SEXUAL OR PHYSICAL 
  • LACK OF COMMUNICATION
  • CONTROLLING BEHAVIOURS 
  • INVALIDATING ENVIRONMENT

Effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family are as follows:
  • Children are more likely to be withdrawn and socially isolated.
  • They are at a risk of mental health issues like depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and so on 
  • They have a bad image of themselves and most definately suffer from low self confidence and self esteem 
  • They have difficulty expressing themselves 
  • Adult Children suffer from self rejection and self criticism in huge amount
  • Children can also drift into drug and / or alcohol abuse 
  • Anger is frequent, at times uncontrollable.




The truth is all families have a shade of dysfunctionality hidden somewhere, visible or not. 

But IS ONE DOOMED BECAUSE ONE IS A PART AND PARCEL OF A Dysfunctional Family

Let me try and answer this question in my next blog 

But before we go there, let me just end with this 




















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