Emotional abuse and Healing



Emotional abuse as described in my last blog is primarily used to maintain power and control over someone.




 Some of the ways include yelling, ridiculing or belittling the partner, insulting them in front of other people, saying things to upset or frighten ones partner / child , demanding obedience to their dictates, my way or highway, name calling, isolating or turning other people against ones partner. 






Now , let's look at ways of coping and recovering from Emotional Abuse:

1) First and foremost Acknowledge the Abuse : It can be a very difficult thing to do but is extremely essential and is the first step towards healing from it. 

Also as you begin to acknowledge the abuse, you begin to take back power and control back over your own life.

Sounds good ....? 

Let's look at the second one .. 

2)  Make yourself a priority : Make your emotional, physical and spiritual needs a priority.







Have voiced it many times and will keep doing it. In an abusive relationship, one generally stops giving any significance or importance to one's own needs. Part of healing process is to prioritise one's own needs. Care for yourself and treat yourself as valuable and in the process you will start feeling valuable.

 3) Create healthy relationships :


Abusive relationships slowly breakdown your trust in other people and can keep you isolated.  It is very normal for people who have been at the receiving end of constant criticism, judgements and rejection feel unsafe, rejected, judged, are highly sensitive are prefer to remain socially isolated. All this further keeps them dependant on unhealthy relationship. 

Time to break the cycle .. 🚳

Please do give it a try by: 

a) Asking a friend out for movie or a meal 

b) Joining a support group - whatever  works for you; for me my Buddhist practise has always been my backbone.

c) Try saying yes to an invite even when your feelings are telling you to keep being at home.

d) May be go for long walks or engage in social hobby or try a cycling group.

It's time to reconnect ...!!! πŸ“žπŸ—“️

4) Lifestyle Management : 


a)Exercise : Have emphasized the importance of exercise many times and will keep doing the same. Exercise releases "endorphins" which are happy drugs and help in mood regulation. 

So, get moving, will you ? 😊

b) Eat right. Drink plenty of water. Get those fruits and greens in your plate. Also, don't forget your proteins.

c) Sleep well : Sleep at the same time every night. Create a relaxing evening routine and  follow it diligently. Dont use electronics before going to bed 

Emotional abuse can leave one mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. A bit of pushing yourself in the right direction, taking one day a time, can aid in the process of healing.

5) Don't rush the process 

Healing can and will take time. There is no one formula and there is no one such time which can work for everyone. 

So, please be patient with yourself. It's alright to go through overwhelming feelings of stress, sadness, confusion, anger, hopelessness while you are healing. 

Give yourself time and believe that you will heal. You deserve it. 

6) Setting boundaries : 



I will talk about it in depth in my next blog but healthy  boundaries essentially are to let yourself and people know when they are crossing over from their space into your space. It's like the front door of your house where you get to decide who you let in and who you don't.

People who have been abused have often no boundaries and after they have been hurt, they erect impenetrable boundaries. Both are not right 

Healthy boundaries allow the right people in and the wrong ones out.

And last but not the least; 

7) Know when to ask for help :


Asking for help will not make you a lesser person. On the contrary, it will empower you with knowledge you never had. And knowledge is Power 

The more knowledge you have, the more power you have to get the controls of your life back.

Honestly, doesn't that sound great ??



You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren't alone.
Jeanne McElvaney,

Take good care of yourself ♥️




 

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