Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

 Healing from an abusive relationship seems impossible as narcissists leave their victims totally confused and drained emotionally, mentally, physically and sometimes financially also. ( Phew ....!!!)

 But even if we are to break down the word Impossible : 

We get "I Am POSSIBLE"

Let's look at few ways and means of recovery ; 

1) Be PATIENT : First of all its important to know that this process of recovery takes times, sometimes months other times years; depending on several factors .. so its important to be patient with yourself. It will be worth all the hardwork, patience, effort and time

2) LET YOURSELF GRIEVE : It's all right to feel the way you are feeling , angry, sorrow, grief, rage, as long as one is able to process the emotions in a healthy way. For example, we can't go around screaming or name calling them just because we are feeling angry.

While experiencing pain and suffering, if one is unable to process the emotions, it's best to ask for help from a professional. 

3) START BUILDING ON YOUR SELF ESTEEM : With your self esteem and self confidence having gone for a total tumble, after years of surviving narcissistic abuse, working on the same is so much worth the time and effort. 

Few way to start rebuilding your self esteem are as follows: 

A) Be kind to yourself - it's important.

B) Become aware of your strengths and accomplishments. It's best to start a diary where you can write down all achievements no matter how small they are.

C) Try out new things that you have wanting to do or Travel somewhere new.

D) Expose yourself to new situations or places. 

4) CREATE GOALS FOR YOURSELF :

Goals give one a sense of purpose and meeting these goals can make you proud of yourself and build that self esteem. It's best to have goals which are pleasure related as well as which are achievement related. 

It surely is motivating. What say ??

5) PRACTISE GRATITUDE DAILY: 

Gratitude helps us to look at the positive side of things which can be a bit tougher after suffering from narcissistic abuse.

Practising gratitude daily is also a reminder that I am healing. It brings a new perspective to our lives, reduces stress, anxiety and other negative thoughts and improves mood and sleep. It helps people feel more positive emotions.

My gratitude diary on a particular day looks like:

1) I am truly grateful for a warm bed and the comfort of my home. 

2) I am grateful for all my challenges as they have taught me the most.

3) I am truly grateful for my good health and the excellent health of my family and friends.

4) I am grateful for the warmth of my friend and for her call that I received today. 

6) HAVE A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM : 

The more support you have from your family and friends, the easier the recovery process will be. 

Also consider counselling as a professional can offer unbiased, unprejudiced support which may be difficult to come by. Also you will be able to learn coping mechanisms that your family and friends aren't aware of.

7) SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: 

The definition of boundaries is "The limits that you can set on what you will accept of other person's words or actions".

It's important to set healthy boundaries with yourself and others because it aids in our own growth. If we fail to set a boundary we give an opportunity to the toxic person to destroy that progress.

More on boundaries in my next blog also.

8) Last but not the least FORGIVE YOURSELF :

Forgive yourself for not knowing any better 

Forgive yourself for allowing the abuse to take place 

Forgive yourself for not being aware of the abuse despite it happening to you or right in front of you

Forgive yourself for all the time wasted, all the suffering you encountering, all the pain suffered physically and mentally and so much more

Here's hoping and wishing you complete, visible and quick recovery 🙏