Disrespect

 I am sure everyone is aware of what disrespect means but just to break it down; disrespect is 

1) to treat without respect

2) show or express contempt or rudeness

3) low regard for someone or something.

4) to disrespect someone is to act in an insulting way towards them.

5) It is actually the exact opposite of respect by acting rude, impolite or offensive.

I am sure all of us have witnessed it somewhere / sometime.Being disrespected is definately not a part of healthy relationships.

Let me give you an example of disrespect  in a form of put down. Radha and Ashok have been married for a while and Ashok knows that Radha always wanted to become a doctor but could not for some reasons. While they are out for dinner with the extended family, Ashok says a mean joke suggesting Radha was not smart enough to become a doctor which causes Radha to be embarrassed. (Now simply replace becoming a doctor with anything else).

And that's a put down which in turn is huge part of disrespect.

Signs of disrespect in any relationship are as follows : 

1) A complete lack  of respect for others freedom or space is the first sign. An example would be while Radha is free to do anything she wants to,  including meeting her friends as she pleases, she gets angry with Ashok when he would do the same with his guy friends.

2) A need to always be right even when you are wrong is another sign of disrespect. Ashok had a large ego due to some deep seated insecurities. Every time Radha would point out something, she would instantly be punished for voicing her opinions strongly. Even if he was wrong, he would never admit that it could be the case.

 3) Devaluing and belittling you : Disregarding your opinion/s, criticizing your parenting skills, ignoring how you feel, are a classic way designed to make you feel small and insignificant. Also humiliating or embarrassing you in front of family or friends, making comments that disparage you and then saying, "Oh ! I didn't mean it"; failing to recognise your contributions are all signs of disrespect in a relationship. While Radha had expressed that all the jokes make her feel small and embarassed, the fact that Ashok didn't stop despite knowing how she feels, tantamounts to huge disrespect.

 4) Lack of consideration of others boundaries is also a form of disrespect. Checking of mobile phones or tech devices, wanting every detail of where the others have been, not respecting the right to privacy are all examples of lack of boundary.

5) Frequent interruptions ; Interruptions , talking over you, not letting you finish your point are also forms of disrespect. It is sending out two messages ; one that their input and voice is more important than yours and the second which implies your words have less value than theirs.

6)  Another disrespectful behaviour is minimising feelings. Vedika would tell Radha about her struggles with her father and she would in turn say Vedika was overreacting and being too sensitive and would minimize her feelings always.

The above are a few signs of disrespectful behaviour. Hope that seriously set you thinking about the term disrespect and all that it entails.

In my next blog we will read the impact of such behaviour.

Until then, I want to leave you with this quote

" When you earn people's love and respect by how much you love and respect them, it not only enriches your business,it enriches your life"

Sadhguru